Due to an apparent typo by the International Olympic Committee, men’s and women’s “handbells” have been added to the Olympic Games. According to a source who wished to remain anonymous for this story, the error occurred when spell check changed handball to handbell shortly before publishing the final schedule for the 2016 games in Rio. “The schedule was correct when we wrote it”, says the unnamed official, “but then spell check changed the name of the sport without anyone noticing”. In a act of quick thinking, the official rules committee quickly released rules for the new handbell sport. Teams of 7 must perform two 30 minutes sets of music with one 10 minute break, earning points for musicality, endurance, and inventive damping. Referees will issue penalties for marts played from higher than 2 tacos above the table and crossing arms while weaving. Any ties will be broken by performing Kevin McChesney’s “Now the Green Blade Riseth” as fast as possible. No word yet on if handbells will be added to the 2020 Olympic games in Tokyo.




22 Comments
Terry yount
Coaches of olympics-bound handbell teams from around the globe will now begin polishing their acts. Stand by for mallets and a forethought.
Melodie
Hahaha this is epic!!Melodie
Pam Wall
This is great!!! Now we know why we sometimes call it ‘aerobic bells’!… We’ve been in training all along! Hmm… will this take the place of the "Virtual Director’s Seminar" this summer? LOL!
Patrick Rowland
My choir has actually practiced "Now the Green Blade Riseth" as fast as we possibly can…
._.
We will destroy the tie-breaker…
Derek Nance
Challenge accepted! My group loves to play that piece as fast as possible.
chapo
Extreme athleticism at its best, doncha know????
Lynne
Even I – non ringer that I am – know you should NEVER play more than two tacos above the table!
Derek Nance
Now the real question is tacos on their sides or upright?
Alex
April 1st… Sounds legit.
Sherrie Schlecker
Looks like spell check missed "accidently".
Derek Nance
Haha, my editor (aka me) apparently missed that one
Bell Chimer
I’m in! What time is rehearsal??!!
Joseph McGarry
Note the date of the article. Lol
Angela R
Funny thing – my spell check never likes the word handbells. It always wants to change it. :-)
Jayne
WE could change THAT!!!
Curt Rogers
This must be an email left over from April 1st.
Trisha
Is this true? And if so how do we audition for the Olympic team!
Paula Hendrick
SO great!! Kevin McChesney’s "Now the Green Blade Riseth" is certainly performance-worthy in the Olympiad world of excellence! Honored to have had Kevin as conductor of 12th Night Handbell Festival in Bakersfield, CA!
K. Quinton
‘Accidently’ is a typo too!
susan
We know that song maybe we can be a late entry!
Anita
what is to tacos??? above the table?
Aline
HAHAHAHA! Awesome!
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